


Adrift in Isolation

by Raven_Knight



Series: 2018 Autumn OTP Challenge - Multifandom [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Grief, Helping One's Partner Through Grief, Jedi Lifestyle, Miscommunication, Respectful of One's Partner, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, survivor's guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 19:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16792936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Knight/pseuds/Raven_Knight
Summary: While on a brief vacation, Padme and Obi-Wan spend time on the lake deciding what exactly they want and need from their relationship.





	Adrift in Isolation

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. This piece, archived at Archive of Our Own (Ao3), is purely a non-commercial work of fiction from which I am not profiting in any way. This work may not be reproduced, archived, or redistributed by any means and/or in any format without prior written permission from me. Permission may be obtained by contacting me at r4v3n.kn1ght@gmail.com. 
> 
> This series of oneshots belong to the 2018 Autumn OTP Challenge, though I have done away with the OTP part of it and focus instead on either romantic ships I ship or platonic relationships that fit the prompt given. This oneshot is in response to prompt #15: Kayaking/Biking/Horse-riding/Jogging. ~ RK

**Adrift In Isolation**  
**By**  
**Raven Knight**  
  


“I admit that I was surprised by the request, Senator.”

Padmé Amidala, Senator of Naboo, shrugged as she lounged back in the spacious gondola, lazily trailing her fingers in the calm waters surrounding their vehicle. “I needed the time away and my security team demanded I not go anywhere alone.” The boat gently rocked with the water’s waves produced by the breeze in the middle of the lake at Varykino. No one else was staying at the retreat and consequently this meant no other boat but theirs floated on the water.

“Not even home?” Obi-Wan asked.

She tilted her head in a play of annoyance but unable to contain her smile. “Especially not home it seems.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “Then it is fortunate I was available.” His breath caught as she lifted her eyes to meet his own. She gazed at him steadily, intently, the spark in her eyes full of heat and promise. Obi-Wan swallowed but locked his eyes to hers, trying to reciprocate but unable to match her intensity. Self-consciously admitting his inadequacy to himself, he darted his eyes to check their surroundings, a task in which he knew he excelled. His visual scan complete, he turned his attention to the slim dataslate in his hand.

“Are you working?” Padmé asked, her tone just shy of sharp.

“I’m a Jedi. I’m always working.” He did not say it in defense but as a simple stated fact.

Aghast, Padmé snorted in a manner she never would in public. “I’m a Senator but I’m not working.”

Obi-Wan, comfortable in a debate scenario, lifted a challenging eyebrow and bright glance without raising his head. “The Senate is out of session at times. The only time a Jedi’s life is similarly out of session is during some sort of incapacitation or—”

 _Or death,_ she finished mentally. Death was a topic she knew to avoid if possible around Obi-Wan Kenobi, as the loss of his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, haunted him nearly a decade later. But the topic had been raised and Obi-Wan’s entire demeanor changed at the aborted word. He’d been relaxed when they’d set out onto the lake, but now he’d tightened physically, drawn into himself as though anticipating a blow that would put him, as he’d described, out of session.

Regretful to have voiced her question in the first place, she hesitated to speak. They’d reconnected only recently, and she had been pleased to establish a closeness with him that had not had an opportunity to begin during his mission to protect her while her planet had been invaded by the Trade Federation. Like so many beings in the galaxy, Padmé had little knowledge of what sort of lifestyle the Jedi lived. But as the relationship developed between her and Obi-Wan, she began to understand a little more each conversation, each interaction, than the majority of the galaxy’s citizens likely ever would know. However, even with her inside knowledge, she still learned less than she would have preferred. “So, a Jedi never rests?”

“Almost never.”

Padmé thought of how even the educational instructors of her youth insisted on rest periods. “Isn’t there such a thing as vacation or rest leave or sabbatical?”

Obi-Wan lowered his dataslate so he could once more fully engage in the conversation. “Sabbatical, yes, but it’s usually only granted for extended and distant research purposes. With the Archives containing such vast amounts of information, there really isn’t a need to leave the Temple for research except for when it is done in the field on another planet. Therefore, a Jedi is still working during that time. Vacation is…” He stalled by taking a breath as he tried to choose the proper phrase. He shook his head. “Vacation is simply not done, and the only leave is medically-ordered rest.” He smiled as though remembering a particular incident. “Usually following an on-mission injury.”

She knew which one he thought of from his smile. It was a somewhat recent mission that she’d forced him to relate in detail when he met with her with his leg encased in plasto-cast. “Like when you fell into the Gundark nest?”

He blushed. “Possibly.”

She shook her head, enjoying his embarrassment. It faded as her mind circled around to the true topic at hand. “That isn’t healthy, Obi-Wan.”

She regretted her words as Obi-Wan withdrew behind protective emotional and mental shields. “It is the life of a Jedi. I know of no other way, and therefore, it is healthy for me and for those of us raised as I was.” He lifted the dataslate, studying it and tapping it occasionally. He nodded at something he read, and grinned at something else. When his brow furrowed in a displeased frown, Padmé’s irritation sparked. A thought struck her violently as she observed him. Obi-Wan was completely absorbed in whatever he read on his device while her attention was on him, the sounds around her, and the gentle waves rocking their gondola. She compared his tense posture to her relaxed physical state.

Being there with her was just another assignment to him. Just another task of protective duty. She thought he was of the same mind in their relationship, that they’d long-ago passed the point of Jedi and Senator and into something more intimate. Had she been wrong? Something in her snapped. Impulsively, she snatched the dataslate from his unprepared loose grip and flung it into the lake.

“Padmé! No!” he shouted as he stretched out his hand to summon the sinking device with the Force.

Reeling from her own conclusion, she slapped his hand down. His eyes snapped to hers, attention completely on her for the first time since they boarded the transport to Naboo. “I didn’t want you here so you could be some Jedi Protector for me!” She spat the words as though distasteful to her. “If I’d wanted security, _any_ Jedi would do!”

“I don’t under—”

“But I wanted _you_! I requested you here as my friend, my companion, my—” Padmé closed her eyes and reigned her emotions in as quickly as she could. She looked at him, hoping he would understand. “I wanted _you_ here, Obi-Wan.”

“I _am_ here,” he said helplessly.

“No, you’re not. You’re still on Coruscant, still in the Temple, checking on Anakin’s training even though you’re not even on the same planet, reading mission briefings, writing reports. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, because you’re not with me, here, now in this moment.”

Obi-Wan flinched as though her words physically struck him. He shrank into himself, pressing his back firmly against the wall of the gondola and looked anywhere but at Padmé. _Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs._ He clenched his eyes and tried to calm his racing emotions, the onslaught of painful grief that had never fully healed, and to steady his sudden shortness of breath as the weight of everything slammed into him. Padmé watched Obi-Wan’s transformation, simultaneously confused, alarmed, yet unapologetic. She needed to say it to him, but she had no idea why her words caused the violent reaction before her. Obi-Wan was in pain. Uncertain if he would welcome anything from her in his emotional state, Padmé cautiously reached for him, just barely touching the plain fabric of his forearm. She knew he would feel even a light touch and she dared not do more. He reminded her of a frightened animal, and she knew that gentleness not firmness would have the best chance of relaxing him enough to talk with her, to respond. “Obi-Wan?”

“I’m sorry,” he said through his attempt to get his breathing under control. “You’re right. I’m not in the moment.” He threw back his head to stare up at the sky. His eyes shone with tears he refused to shed. “My Master tried to teach me the importance of it, but it never stuck with me. If it had, maybe he’d still be—” He choked on a sob as he closed his eyes. “Forgive me,” he begged. It wasn’t clear whose forgiveness he sought.

Padmé didn’t know what to do. What would he accept? Anything she might say would seem trite and insincere. She said nothing, but she did move her hand from the cloth covering his arm to run softly along the back of his shaking hand.

The instant her skin touched his, Obi-Wan stilled and his senses shifted focus. The pain and grief of his Master’s death, while still present, pushed him towards the sharp awareness of her fingers on his skin. _Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs._ He caught her hand before she could think that her touch was unwelcome to him and held it tightly in his own. She squeezed back. Obi-Wan flashed her a feeble, self-deprecating smile, eyes still wet with tears. “It seems I still have much to learn.”

Padmé smiled sympathetically. “We never stop learning.”

Obi-Wan studied her, trying to read her body language without also reading her through the Force. _Feel, don’t think._ “I’m sorry,” he said, voice finally steady again with the first words that came to mind. “I don’t quite know how to do this. Being a Jedi is all I’ve ever known.”

Padmé slid closer to him, and brushed his hair away from his face. “I’m not asking you not to be a Jedi. I just want you to be here with me when we’re together. Obi-Wan Kenobi is the man I love who happens to also be a Jedi. I don’t want you any other way.”

 _Use your instincts._ Obi-Wan reached for her and she came willingly. Theirs was not a kiss of overwhelming desire, but a kiss of understanding, of tenderness, and forgiveness of wrongs both intended and unintended. They parted long enough to breathe. “Thank you,” he whispered before joining their lips once more. The kiss ended, but they did not fully separate. Obi-Wan pressed his forehead to Padmé’s, both of them with their eyes closed, establishing a matching rhythm in their breathing, both calming and being calmed by the other.

He clearly heard her half-apologetic smile in her voice as she said, “I’m sorry about your slate.”

Relaxed laughter burst from him, but he did not give up the physical contact with her. “No, you’re not, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not important.” He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “This is important. This is where my focus should be.” She smiled into the kiss she gave him.

They remained in the gondola adrift on the lake waters focused only on one another’s touch and presence in peaceful, blissful isolation from a galaxy on the brink of madness. Long after their bodies ached with their union, they lazily rested in each other’s arms and listened to the sounds of the birds singing until the sun sank below the horizon.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written Obi-Wan/Padme. I hope I did it and the characters well in this fic. Let me know what you think of it, or hit the kudos button if you're shy. Thanks for reading! ~ RK


End file.
